“It was a woman who drove me to drink. I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.” W.C. Fields
There once was a girl from Anheuser Who thought that no man could surprise her But Pabst took a chance Found Shlitz in her pants And now she is sadder Budweiser
There once was a drinker, McSweeny Spilled Beefeater all over his weenie He wanted to be couth So he added Vermouth So his girl could enjoy a martini