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HUMOUR (5) POLITICS
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Here are some of the wittiest and most politically incorrect put-downs ever uttered by activists and those in government.
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Winston Churchill on prime minister Lord Rosebery. "He was a great man in an era of small events."
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John Quincy Adams on Thomas Jefferson. "A slur upon the moral government of the world."
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Georges Clemenceau on David Lloyd George. "Oh, if I could piss the way he speaks."
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Jim HIghtower on George H. W. Bush. "If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want the drilling rights to George Bush's head."
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Former senator Bob Dole on George W. Bush. "Well, he got this new globe for Christmas," asserting that GWB lacks a grasp of foreign affairs.
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John Montagu: (after a heated exchange with John Wilkes) : Sir, I do not know whether you will die on the gallows or of the pox!"
John Wilkes: "That, sir, depends on whether I first embrace your Lordship's principles or your Lordship's mistresses."
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Adlai Stevenson on the Republican Party. "If they will stop telling lies about the Democrats,
​we will stop telling the truth about them."
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Bob Dole on Carter, Ford and Nixon. "History buffs probably noted the reunion at a Washington party
​ a few weeks ago of three ex-presidents: 
Carter, Ford and Nixon. See No Evil, Hear no Evil, and Evil."
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Assistant secretary of the navy, Teddy Roosevelt on president William McKinley. "No more backbone than a chocolate eclair."
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Pat Buchanan on Bill Clinton. 'Bill Clinton's foreign policy experience is pretty much confined to
​having had breakfast once at the nearest IHOP."
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Former Australian prime minister Paul Keating on John Hewson. "He's like a shiver waiting for a spine."
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Barney Frank on George W. Bush. "People might cite George Bush as proof that you can be
​totally impervious to the effects of Harvard and Yale."
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MP Johnathan Aitken on prime minister Margaret Thatcher. "She probably thinks Sinai is the plural of sinus."
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Benjamin Disraeli on William Gladstone. "If Gladstone fell into the Thames, that would be a misfortune.
​Pulling him out would be a calamity."
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Senator William E. Jenner on New York governor W. Averell Harriman. "He's thin, boys. He's thin as piss on a rock."
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Lloyd Bentsen to Dan Quayle. "Senator, I served with Jack Kennedy. I knew Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. 
Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy."
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Andrew Jackson. "I have only two regrets. I didn't shoot Henry Clay and I didn't hang John C. Calhoun."
John C. Calhoun was his vice president.
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Lyndon Johnson on Gerald Ford. "He's a nice guy but he played too much football with his helmet off."
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Winston Churchill on prime minister Clement Attlee. "An empty cab pulled up to 10 Downing Street. Clement Atlee got out."
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Abraham Lincoln on Stephen Douglas. "His argument is as thin as the homeopathic soup that was made by boiling the shadow of a pigeon that had been starved to death."
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Adlai Stevenson on Richard Nixon. "The kind of politician who would cut down a redwood tree and then
​mount the stump to make a speech for conservation."


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Texas governor Ann Richards on George W. Bush. "Poor George, he can't help it. He was born with a silver foot in his mouth."
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Winston Churchill on prime minister Clement Atlee. "He's a modest man with much to be modest about."
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David Cameron on Tony Blair. "He was the future, once."​
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Georgi Plekhanov, Russian Social Democrat on Vladimir Lenin. "You show the bourgeoisie your behind.
We, on the contrary, look them in the face."
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Former Israeli prime minister Golda Mier to former Israeli defence minister Moshe Dayan. "Don't be so humble.
​You're not that great."
HUMOUR (5)
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